#choices reconceptualized

[rollercoasterwords]

honestly thinking abt "i got mom'd" again in light of recent discoveries....imagine spending ur whole life trying to be a daughter who is a son who is trying to become her father so that maybe he'll be proud of her who like. so desperately does not want to turn into her mother. and then ur dad dies and ur no longer a daughter, and ur husband betrays u so ur no longer a wife, and ur brothers begin to close ranks so ur no longer a sister....shiv literally gets mom'd in this episode. all the other threads are being cut and the only one left is a growing umbilical cord

[glass--beach]

I know you're not being open about your maybe-plurality on tumblr for other people's sakes, but I want to say thanks for being open about it, and speaking honestly about your feelings. I've been through a very similar journey recently and I felt extremely alone with how I was thinking about/approaching it.

I firmly believe that it doesn't matter whether you have a diagnosable dissociative disorder, I'm too critical of psych to put much stake in that. My journey has always revolved around one question: What is the most useful way to think about myself?

And I spent years trying to be a "singlet". I spent my whole life trying to be one person. But then I didn't know how to introduce myself. I don't know what my hobbies are. I don't know what my goals are. It wasn't just indecisiveness for me, it was a whole different way of seeing the world, of thinking, different core beliefs and opinions that changed the way I behaved and socialized and studied and worked.

For all these years I thought of myself as a "nothing person" as a result. Someone with no particular talents or skills of personalities. I watched my friends grow up and get PhDs and high paying jobs and write books and I still felt like a toddler too overwhelmed by choices and drawn to too many things and not present enough to commit fully to being anyone in particular.

I don't think singlet people understand how damaging it is to not know yourself, or to try to be someone you're not. Well actually, maybe trans singlets do know that. It did feel an awful lot like gender dysphoria but it wasn't just about gender, it was about my whole me.

I'm doing better now. And the reason I'm doing better is because I stopped trying to be a singular person. I recognized that there are multiple identities in here. We have an artist. We have a scientist. We have a sleepy caterpillar. We have a young child. None of those people feel that dreadful "nothingness" anymore. They know who they are, what they like, what their aspirations are, how they like to talk to people. They don't feel like a confused upset failure when they suddenly aren't *themselves* anymore.

A different part/alter/headmate being asocial doesn't undo all of the social skills I have. Me being bad at math doesn't take away from one of my alters who is awesome at it. They're still allowed to identify with their own traits and features without feeling like a fraud because of the fact that they can't consistently be that person all of the time.

Accepting my plurality has saved my life. I love myself now, all of my parts, as they are. It's OK that they're extremely different from me. They're still real. And now I don't spend every day agonizing over why I don't have their skills and interests. I'm ok with being like this.

Sorry if this comes across as over sharing because that is not my intention. I just hoped to illustrate why reconceptualizing yourself as plural can be helpful, and change your whole perspective, and allow you to be more forgiving and kind to yourself. I can't possibly hate the amazing friends I share a brain with, and they don't hate me, how could I hate myself in these conditions after all? I hope this does the same for you. If you do find that you have different parts or personalities there is no shame in letting them fully indulge in what they like and in what they are good at. Don't hold yourself back from being you to the fullest extent just because it doesn't align with your other parts. You will be way happier if you can recognize who you are and then listen to what that part of you wants.

love this and vibe with it heavily. i’ve embraced being a contradictory person but i think actually pinning down the patterns to those contradictions is going to help me out immensely. sounds like that’s what’s worked for you pretty much. glad you’ve gotten something out of my posting, genuinely

[atlaslego]

<Type Atlas Unit 03 KAI (改) >

The KAI series will focus on modifying details with enhancing pieces usage. Compared to all the original, the KAI series will also be focusing on reconceptualizing them into specific roles in battle. The series will not cover all the units due to lack of pieces in specific colours.

Take Unit 03 as an example here, adding striking blues to make it look more vibrant. Changing shoulder and leg designs to reduce the bulkiness and increase the dynamics. Shoulder armours are modified with new movable shield with interchangeable attaching designs for weapons. Added in missile launch box at the back pack to increase the variety of arsenal choice.

Concept wise, completed removed close combat weapon like sword, instead, I reconceptualize this unit as a specialization for long range attack with riles, pistols, and missile along with enhanced defensive mechanism with over sized shoulder shield.

The presentation of post may vary thought out the series as I am playing around with some new equipments.

[psychic-refugee]

I am also disappointed in the book because of its sole POV from Wednesday. I was really hoping we’d get more insight not only into her thoughts, but into others’ as well. I was hoping for more background lore.

I wasn't expecting a GRRM or Tolkein amount of lore or writing level, but I was hoping for so much more than what we got.

This book was such a disappointment for anyone who wanted more than just finding any scrape of proof to twist into evidence of a ship. It even fails at that because once again, nothing explicit is ever stated, no matter how much they try to bully you into declaring any ship as canon.

This novel cannot stand on its own. Its lack of detail and simplistic narration makes it so that you can only really get the full concept of the story IF you had watched the TV show first. The characters are so bare and hollow.

If you are a fan of Yoko, Divina, Kent, or Bianca, you will also be disappointed. There’s barely anything there with them. They’re almost extras with how little time and consideration they’re given.  

The book glazes over key points or reconceptualizes certain scenes by dropping or changing dialogue. I think it did a disservice to all of the characters.

It wasn’t worth the money as it serves as a poor reference for the series since it has so many mistakes and has poor creative choices that are in direct conflict with what we see in the TV show.

[purpletyrant]

"This is no place for you," says the unicorn. Her shovel glints in the moonlight, inches from your throat. "Dead things ought to stay dead."

redraw of one from 2022

i think reconceptualizing the angle was the right choice here, because its now shifted from "oh im just a wee unicorn and this scary dirty lizard just popped out of the earth like a groundhog, whatever shall i do" to "cmooon im a lil guy, im a lil guy and its my birthday, youre gonna kill me with a shovel when its my birthday? cmooon" which is much more accurate to the scene

man i am willing to draw just about ANYTHING to put off this pomona comic. its still coming. do you think ill get it out there before art fight? who knows

[transformativeworksandcultures]

CFP: Gaming Fandom

The study and analysis of creative fan production (e.g., fanfiction, fanart, cosplay, etc.) is a cornerstone of fandom studies. These practices enable fans to assert a level of authorship over their favorite media – to reimagine, recontextualize, and reconceptualize their canons to better reflect their desires, wants, interests, and demands. They provide voice to individuals who cannot necessarily shape source texts directly (Vinney & Dill-Shackleford, 2018), allowing fans to carve out space for themselves within the pop-culture landscape that celebrates/embraces their identities. This is particularly poignant for marginalized fans. As such, we can understand fan practices as unique and invaluable forms of cultural critique (Jenkins, 2006; McCullough, 2020). 

This active engagement – arguably – is magnified within gaming fandoms and communities because the act of play is inherent to the source texts, whether that play comes in the form of hitting keys on a keyboard, moving joysticks on controllers, rolling dice, etc. Gaming seemingly provides fans an inherent sense of authorship over source texts as the players’ actions, choices, and skill shape the outcomes and narrative progression; thus, gaming fandom presents a strong opportunity to explore the idea of fan creativity as cultural critique and our understanding of authorship, ownership, and identity across the pop-cultural landscape. This strength is only increased by the critical reality of many gaming communities and spaces; criticism leveraged at games, gamers, and gaming communities is commonplace with topics like the lack of representation, the focus on hegemonic masculinity that often takes a turn towards toxicity, and the vitriol directed towards gender and sexual orientation politics being frequent points of discussion both by scholars/researchers, by journalists and reviewers, and by those within these communities. Of course, not all gaming criticism focuses on the cultural and political; some emphasize mechanical, financial, and performance issues.

 This special issue of Transformative Works and Cultures will explore fan creativity as critique in gaming fandoms; while we are construing the term ‘gaming fandom’ broadly, we are primarily interested in analyses and scholarly discussions of and related to fan-made works and productions, including fanfiction, fanart, cosplay, mods, fan-made games and series, etc. We welcome all forms from methodology – quantitative and qualitative, empirical and theoretical, etc. Possible topics include (but are not limited to):

Exploration of how fan-made works address and critique gender norms and sexual identities within gaming communities.

Exploration of fanfiction as a means of reclaiming and reshaping game lore and canon.

Analysis of LGBTQ+ representation and narratives in gaming fanfiction and fanart.

Case studies of specific mods (i.e., modifications) that have sparked significant discussion or controversy.

Investigation into how cosplay challenges or reinforces cultural stereotypes and representations.

The role of cosplay in expressing identity and critiquing game character design.

Study of fan-created games that offer alternative perspectives or critique the original game.

Exploration of intersectional critiques in fan-made content.

Investigation into how the act of play influences and enhances fan creativity and critique.

Study of how fan productions are received by broader gaming communities and the original creators.

The impact of fan critique and creativity on game development and industry response.

Examination of the ethical considerations and legal challenges in creating and sharing fan-made works.

Discussion of intellectual property and the boundaries of fan authorship.

Study of how digital platforms (e.g., YouTube, Twitch, Discord) facilitate and shape fan creativity and critique.

The role of social media in disseminating and discussing fan-made works.

Comparative analysis of fan creativity and critique across different gaming franchises or genres.

Examination of regional differences in fan production and cultural critique.

Submission Guidelines

Transformative Works and Cultures (TWC, http://journal.transformativeworks.org/) is an international peer-reviewed online Diamond Open Access publication of the nonprofit Organization for Transformative Works, copyrighted under a Creative Commons License. TWC aims to provide a publishing outlet that welcomes fan-related topics and promotes dialogue between academic and fan communities. TWC accommodates academic articles of varying scope as well as other forms, such as multimedia, that embrace the technical possibilities of the internet and test the limits of the genre of academic writing.

Submit final papers directly to Transformative Works and Cultures by January 1, 2025.

Articles: Peer review. Maximum 8,000 words.

Symposium: Editorial review. Maximum 4,000 words.

Please visit TWC's website (https://journal.transformativeworks.org/) for complete submission guidelines, or email the TWC Editor (editor@transformativeworks.org). 

Contact—Contact guest editors Hayley McCullough and Ashley P. Jones with any questions before or after the due date at hmccullough.popculture@gmail.com and ashley.jones@wartburg.edu .

Bibliography

Dill-Shackleford, Karen E., Cynthia Vinney, and Kristin Hopper-Losenicky. 2016. “Connecting the Dots between Fantasy and Reality: The Social Psychology of Our Engagement with Fictional Narrative and Its Functional Value.” Social and Personality Psychology Compass 10, no. 11: 634–46.

Goodman, Lesley. 2015. “Disappointing Fans: Fandom, Fictional Theory, and the Death of the Author.” The Journal of Popular Culture 48, no. 4: 662–76.

Jenkins, Henry. 2006. Fans, Bloggers, and Gamers: Exploring Participatory Culture. New York: New York University Press.

McCullough, Hayley. 2020. “The Diamonds and the Dross: A Quantitative Exploration of Integrative Complexity in Fanfiction.” Psychology of Popular Media 9, no. 1: 59–68.

Vinney, Cynthia, and Karen E. Dill-Shackleford. 2018. “Fan Fiction as a Vehicle for Meaning-Making: Eudaimonic Appreciation, Hedonic Enjoyment, and Other Perspectives on Fan Engagement with Television.” Psychology of Popular Media Culture 7, no. 1: 18–32.

[tethrras]

i want to make a hawke who starts out very pro mage rights but after beth dies she starts to go down a pro templar incel conservative pipeline and is like oh maybe mages keep dying because they make bad choices and it's kind of their fault actually ❤️ as a way to reconceptualize her subconscious guilt complex over not being able to save bethany. varric blinks and suddenly he's at the back of the party with sebastian and fenris between him and hawke and he can't remember the last time she spent a night with him at the hanged man

[purgetrooperfox]

Have *you* ever thought about rewriting any of your oc's stories? I only ask because of some discussion about what kind of stories glorify problematic behavior vs what kinds are simply representing complicated dynamics. Do you have any thoughts on it?

well it's tricky because all of my longform OC writing is just in my gdrive and hasn't been seen by many people. but. I've done a few reconceptualizations, I think that's a natural part of the writing process

none of those rewrites or reimaginings have changed the core of any relationships though. the stories I'm interested in telling (for now, if I ever finish) are more about people and their relationships to each other than anything else, so it would feel disingenuous to scrap the entire foundation. Kit and Nocte are fucked up on purpose. they are, fundamentally, an exploration of

what if it can never be perfect

what if we try. really try. and do almost everything right. and it still hurts

what if circumstances will always shove us backwards

what can be overcome? what's worth the effort?

because love for us is something that wasn't supposed to happen. it's something we should have nipped in the bud. to continue is a choice we make, and it's work, and maybe it's doomed to fail. but we make the choice anyway

they're the jedi/clone ship from hell. they're messy and destructive but also compassionate and supportive and all these contradictions because they're people. that's it. they're people in a fucked up situation with a fucked up power differential living in a fucked up time. I'll give you a little spoiler too: none of it means anything in the end. they don't "save each other". so maybe their story is also just about inevitability

I wouldn't change any of that because that rings as true to me. making them fluffier would be dishonest (which isn't to say they're never fluffy, they're fluffy sometimes, but not All The Time). that's life sometimes, babes. you love someone despite it All but the All doesn't just go away because love isn't a magic cure

uhhhhhh. I think the difference between glorifying xyz versus just depicting xyz can be tricky to define sometimes. a lot of it is about intent. a lot of it is about consequences in-story. I also think most people are aiming not to glorify "problematic behavior" and some audiences will pick them apart regardless of whether they actually glorify/glamorize/romanticize it. obviously there are exceptions and that's why there's a conversation to be had in the first place, but generally

all of that being said, OBVIOUSLY no one is obligated to write about darker subjects if it makes them uncomfortable and if they chose to do so, that's no reason to go after them. if you don't like certain topics, don't read about those topics. monitoring your reading is your own job, not the writers'

I don't know if this answers what you asked but here you go

[hwsforeignrelations]

7, 26 for Switzerland, 33, 45?

#7: Food-related headcanon?

America doesn't chew when he eats.

Last night I read @sunnylolli's The Great American Stomachache, and their narration just GAWD DAMN. I think its an interesting take on Alfred's eating eating habits (read it- its amazing).

The first one doesn't really relate to imperialism (its more on the negative impact of capitalism on things like food which require a socialist, regulative approach). Though, it reminds me of AO3 chrysanthemumthrone's A Dying Sun (Chapter 4), and @robinrocks01 Align (Ch 2). These two fics reconceptualize imperialistic greed through hunger. The basic point is: eventually an expanded nation (an empire) doesn't experience pleasure tasting food (maybe cuz their appetites' too large to satisfy if they're chewing), beyond the simple dopamine effect of consumption. It's interesting.

#26: Switzerland's nightcap of choice?

Espresso martini, "Rest is for the weak and the dead."

#33: Who organizes the best parties?

Absolutely depends on when lol.

Gilded age: England. wacking open champagne bottles with rapiers- sort of business.

Now? I like to imagine a big ol retreat into nature where everyone can go berserk for a weekend. So, like, idk, New Zealand? South Africa? Undecided as you can tell haha

#45: Most iconic canon line?

"Any issues?"

"[Insert valid issue]"

"Heard and overruled!" :D

[lichfucker]

also everyone was extremely receptive to my switching us from 5e to savage worlds! I explained how 5e is. not sustainable long-term and that if this campaign is going to have any longevity I need to get off this sinking ship lmao. and that with what I know about them and how they all like to play, and what parts of the game get them the most excited, they will enjoy swade FAR more than 5e.

I told them that we're not gonna switch until the end of this story arc— I don't wanna interrupt shit mid-stream— but zac is so excited abt it that she and I are gonna make hyssop's new character sheet as soon as I get home tonight lmao.

hazel is probably gonna retire sassy and make a new character altogether, one who is more invested in the adventuring life and has more clear external goals. eva didn't say she would drop morada, but given how she has said multiple times that she made a bad choice in playing a standoffish loner type because she didn't know what she was doing, I expect that by the time we actually make the switch, she will likely either completely reconceptualize morada or play someone else entirely

[thedailytao]

Passage 72

When people become overly bold, then disaster will soon arrive.

Do not meddle with people’s livelihood; by respecting them, they will in turn respect you.

Therefore, the Master knows herself but is not arrogant. She loves herself but also loves others. This is how she is able to make appropriate choices.

The last stanza of this passage captures one of the concepts in Taoism that I like best. That is, not just the concept of humility, but a concept of humility that, unlike Puritanical versions of it, isn’t based on self-reproach, self-loathing, or self-criticism. I am often frustrated with people who take that approach to humility, because it’s just another form of self-obsession. Obsessing about how inadequate you are, you’re still focused on yourself and not focused on other people. You can know yourself, acknowledge yourself, and love yourself. The idea is not to not love yourself. That’s not humility. Humility is loving other people just as much and holding yourself in equal esteem to other people.

Self love and humility are not mutually exclusive.

This, when you follow the thread far enough, is the source of what I like to think of as the Tao of Bliss. Because if you strive to hold all of creation in equal esteem, the natural conclusion is that all of creation becomes beloved to you. Think of your favorite place on earth, your favorite food, the best thing you ever smelled, or a song you can’t help singing along to. Taoism says you should love yourself just as much as you love those things. The things that trouble you, you should love them, too.

It’s not easy – not even a little bit. I continually struggle to reframe my unpleasant experiences to this ideal, but at the end of the day, it is deeply rewarding. It’s not about finding a silver lining in bad experiences either, but about reconceptualizing the entire way you perceive them. For those things that were deeply painful, those things that still cause us pain, it can feel almost impossible. I find that, when I’m unable to bring myself to say, “I’m glad that happened,” I can at the very least say to myself, “That event was a part of my life, and I am deeply grateful for my life.”

When it comes to others, it essentially comes down to empathy. That’s why mentioning someone’s livelihood is so important to this passage: reminding us that our actions can affect other people in existential ways, that we should continually consider the broader impacts of our decisions and put ourselves in the shoes of those we’re impacting. Is this impact something I would want for myself? For a loved one? If we aspire to value everyone equally, we shouldn’t take actions against them that we wouldn’t take against our most beloved friends.

[personshapedsplder]

It's my 8 months today and I'm just reflecting a lot. 8 months ago I first began experiencing a sense of peace I don't think I've ever known in my life. Just 8 months of this enormous weight lifted off my shoulders. I've felt alive in ways I can't even describe. There's not one single aspect of my life that isn't vastly improved. I feel so much hope!! 8 months ago I made probably the single best choice I've ever made in my life. And it's only been 8 months!! How much will I have improved in a year? 2 years? When I first began feeling this way I literally didn't know what to do w myself. I felt so much rightness and peace I literally had to reconceptualize my place in the world and realize that like, good things can happen LOL It's been such an eventful year. It's like there was this giant infected hole in the middle of my chest and for the first time ever it's healing. I know I sound dramatic but it rly is how I feel. And now I'm reflecting on it bc its been 8 months now of this hole closing up and I feel GREAT

[mnrpardiman]

Human Morality is a Spectrum of Aestheticism

Human morality is often discussed in terms of rigid frameworks and absolute principles, yet a more nuanced understanding reveals that it functions as a spectrum—an array of beliefs, values, and aesthetic judgments that shape our ethical landscape. This essay explores the idea that morality is not a strict set of rules but rather an aesthetic experience deeply rooted in cultural expressions, individual perceptions, and emotional resonances. The concept of aestheticism as it pertains to morality suggests that ethical decisions are inherently tied to our appreciation for beauty, harmony, and emotional resonance in both ourselves and the world around us.

At its core, the idea that morality is a spectrum of aestheticism suggests that human beings are not merely rational agents making calculated decisions based on a fixed ethical code; instead, we are emotional and sensory beings who navigate complex moral dilemmas through our aesthetic responses. Aestheticism, often associated with the celebration of beauty and sensory experiences, can be reconceptualized within an ethical context. Our moral decisions, much like our aesthetic judgments, are informed by our passions, feelings, and subjective experiences. We might find ourselves compelled to act in a certain way not solely because of rational arguments but due to an emotional reaction—a sense of beauty in an act of kindness, or ugliness in an unjust deed.

This spectrum of morality can be illustrated through various philosophical frameworks. The ethical theories of consequentialism, deontology, and virtue ethics, while distinct, can be viewed as reflections of aesthetic sensibilities. Consequentialism, with its emphasis on outcomes, can be linked to the aesthetic realm in its focus on the broader impact of actions. For example, the decision to promote social welfare may stem from an appreciation for harmony and beauty in a well-functioning community. Deontological ethics, which emphasizes duty and rules, might resonate with an aesthetic sense of order and structure, valuing the beauty of adhering to moral principles irrespective of the consequences. Meanwhile, virtue ethics, rooted in character and the cultivation of virtues, echoes the aesthetic pursuit of an ideal life—one that is not just morally sound but also beautiful in its expression.

Furthermore, cultural context plays a significant role in shaping our moral aesthetic. Different societies have varied conceptions of beauty and morality that reflect their unique histories, traditions, and values. What is considered morally beautiful in one culture may be viewed as ethically ambiguous or even ugly in another. This variance illustrates that morality cannot be understood in isolation from the aesthetic frameworks that inform it. For instance, indigenous cultures often intertwine spiritual beliefs with ethical practices, reflecting a profound understanding of the beauty in nature and community. Conversely, industrial societies may prioritize efficiency and utility, which can lead to a more utilitarian ethical framework that may neglect the aesthetic considerations of compassion and interconnectedness.

The intersection of morality and aestheticism can also be observed in the realm of art and literature. Throughout history, artists and writers have grappled with moral questions, using their work to explore the complexities of human behavior. The aesthetic experience of engaging with narratives can evoke moral introspection, prompting individuals to reflect on their values and ethical choices. Through beauty, art can illuminate moral principles, challenge prevailing norms, and inspire action. The emotional power of a poignant story can lead individuals to reevaluate their stances on issues ranging from social justice to environmental responsibility, demonstrating how closely intertwined morality and aesthetic appreciation can be.

Moreover, the growing recognition of moral pluralism underscores the importance of the aesthetic dimension in ethical discourse. In an increasingly interconnected world, the acknowledgment of diverse moral perspectives fosters dialogue and mutual understanding. This pluralism mirrors the aesthetic spectrum, where different forms of beauty coexist and interact. Emphasizing the aesthetic dimension of morality allows for richer conversations that respect individual experiences, cultural contexts, and emotional motivations, ultimately contributing to a more empathetic and inclusive society.

In conclusion, framing human morality as a spectrum of aestheticism invites us to reconsider our understanding of ethics. By acknowledging the emotional, cultural, and sensory dimensions of moral decision-making, we embrace the complexity of human behavior and the myriad influences that shape our values. This perspective enriches our moral lives, reminding us that ethics is not merely about rules and rationality but also about the beauty, harmony, and emotions that unify us as human beings. Ultimately, recognizing the aesthetic dimension of morality can lead to deeper connections with ourselves and others, cultivating a more compassionate and understanding world.

[starried-lass]

The Zodiacs and Modalities

Concept:

As you get into your astro!studies you’ll come across the modalities and it’ll all click a lot more! But then… you run into more lists. That’s okay though, those adjectives give us words to describe these signs, below we’re gonna discuss how to talk about them.

[As followed:]

Cardinal: Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn

Fixed: Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius

Mutable: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces

Reconception;

Standard Disclaimer: this is not something you should use should try to use to predict the future; I don’t care for divinity. This is using astrology as a tool to reflect on ourselves and how we operate in this world—and how we can do better. I can’t decide what better looks like for you, or your life, but I want to give you some tools to do so yourself. Time to reconceptualize!

The Inaugurated; The Languid; The Fluctuant

[As followed:]

The modality also follow emotional beats patterns. Similar to the way the modalities have cycles, the graph above gives one way to visibly interpret how they do so!

I’ve given the modalities new categories that I think better metaphorically capture their movements and motion of the cycles.

[Cardinal] The Inaugurated

[Fixed] The Languid

[Mutable] The Fluctuant

{Final Thoughts}

We’ve lived so many different lives, done so many different things. No two people experience the same life. Not only that; nothing happens in a vacuum; you are a person in this world and you have to make your own choices. Forget what your chart says about you—what do your actions say about you? The little things and habits you form now are make the person you’ll be several tomorrows now. Is that someone you’re proud of?

[practically-an-x-man]

26, 40

ooh thank you!

26. which movie made you think the most about life?

Ooh, that one's tough! Honestly, I think I have to go with About Time. I'm not much of a rom-com person (like... at all) and I initially just watched it for Domhnall Gleeson, but the third act has this really poignant message about "you don't need a re-do of every day, you don't need to make all the right choices. you just need to live each day like you've already gone back and made those choices, and make a conscious effort to find beauty in what's around you."

As someone who feels like they have way too many hobbies and not enough time on their hands, that message really helped me reconceptualize and slow down a bit - or, if not slow down, at least feel a little less guilt for not having everything done at once.

40. a film you think everyone should see at least once

I mean... if you haven't seen the Princess Bride, there might be something wrong with you /lh

Movie/Film Ask Bait

[gatheringbones]

[“For gay children, regardless of birth order, growing up as unique, if beloved, entities within a heterosexual context is an isolating experience. From the beginning, we are isolated from our families in some ways. We are simultaneously alien and familiar to parents and siblings alike. Although sexual identity is, in many ways, as predetermined as eye color or race, its exercise, acceptance, and expression are delayed by a host of other factors. Inarguably, the primary factor is the family.

In the 1950s, and arguably even today, there was no consensus on how gay people come to be. Most generally, we appear singly in a family that, by its very construction, is alien to who we are and what we will become. Yet, that family forms us and provides the foundation on which we will try to construct the meaningful relationships of our lives. Unfortunately, a great deal of that foundation is built on deception.

For gay children, the lies we tell ourselves and those around us undergo a rapid maturation. Dishonesty serves to protect us and those we love from every reaction to our fear of abandonment, from presumed disappointment to outright anger. Protective colorization is a means of survival no less for the queer kid than for the brown wren or common chameleon. Thus, the internal closet is born, and with it a whole context for dealing with the world.

By natural extension, the social environment gay people are born into is not built to accommodate us. Still, though alternately hostile and benign, that social environment provides gay people with the same layers of secondary identity that it gives to the larger heterosexual hegemony. Every individual has a social identity, a cultural identity, a frame of reference from which to relate to the world.

The homosexual context of relating to the world, although internalized, is as demanding in practice as left- handedness. All those who believe homosexuality is a choice, or some willful embrace of" aberrant" behavior, are self-deluded, if not purposefully ignorant. Being both homosexual and left- handed, I have related to the larger world from those frames of reference for as long as I can remember. The only willful embrace the queer kid rushes to is the safe embrace of the closet, but that cruelly narrows the kid's outward view. It is amazing how many gay people actively disavow, distance themselves from, or reconceptualize their identities after adolescence. A closet cannot accommodate the rich past or heritage into which the gay child is born. That heritage is one from which the child presumes to be excluded by his or her very existence. Arriving as the newest addition to a long line of ancestors who settled into each phase of life with daunting conformity, the queer kid has to question his or her relevance in the history of the family, neighborhood, town, and even era.

To paraphrase Joseph Campbell by substituting “queer" for" hero," there is a great deal of validity, even satisfaction, in a life spent trudging the familiar paths around the village compound. Historically speaking, however, the nascent queer must follow bliss out- side those familiar paths to seek his or her destiny.”]

jay quinn, from the mentor: a memoir of friendship and gay identity, 2000